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What motherhood has taught me….

A mom shares lessons learned as she juggles her family and career….

Month

January 2016

Update: Treadmill assembled!!!

Okay, so after looking at it in the box for over a month I decided that it was time to take the initiative and try to assemble my treadmill.  I am happy to report that while it took about two hours, a few choice words, some sweat and some fumbling, I finally got it put together – and it even works!!! Not sure why I have a few leftover screws considering I followed the directions to a tee, but it seems sturdy so it’s now game-on in the work out department.

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Why is it that…?

Murphy’s law dictates that you will finally have a fabulous hair day right before you go for your long awaited hair cut. 

Words of wisdom, Pearls to ponder

Stop having expectations of your life, in your relationships, and in your career and you will minimize your disappointments….

The doctor’s appointment joke…

  
I finally broke down and made a doctor’s appointment today.  After 2 weeks of coughing and hacking my brains out I decided that I had had a enough and I’d better go get checked out.  Even though I was 99% sure I had bronchitis (my own self-diagnosis based on my nursing expertise – lol) I figured that getting an expert medical opinion wouldn’t hurt.  So I called my doctor’s office first thing this morning, got an appointment for 10:45 am, and resigned myself to the fact that at least I would only have to drag one of my kids with me for the ordeal.  Of course that one child was my very active and often demanding toddler, who has the attention span of a gnat and in no way likes to sit still or wait for anything.  But this couldn’t be put off any longer so I was going to have to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

So we arrive at the doctor’s office about 10 minutes before my scheduled appointment, being that I had to update my insurance information and they tell you to come early to allow time to fill out the paperwork.  The waiting room wasn’t all that full and there was only on person on the list before me (who was seeing a totally different practitioner in the office) so I was optimistic that the wait time to get in and see the doctor wouldn’t be that long.  Oh how wrong I was….While initially and successfully placating my toddler with my phone (she loves to look at the pictures) I watched those who had been in the waiting room when I arrived get called in.  Then I watched a new wave of people come into the waiting room and also get called in.  Okay I thought…”Deep breaths, be patient.  There are multiple practitioners on so you can’t control which physician is on time.”  Yet it was getting harder and harder to remain patient as then the next wave of patients checked in and we were still sitting there. And now, my toddler, who was well-beyond her distraction point was starting to cause a scene.  Of course we’d been waiting approximately 25 minutes by this time and in all fairness she’d been very good up until this point.

Tick tock.  At thirty five minutes of waiting, not including the 10 minutes we were there prior to my scheduled appointment, I was beginning to lose it.  By now my toddler was inconsolable as she wanted to play with a little girl in the waiting room who was clearly sick and I kept having to drag her away.  The waiting room was so jammed packed  with people at this point that I couldn’t have her running around, but at the same time I was unable to successfully convince her to stay in one spot.  There was crying and tears, kicking and fussing, and one sick mommy who was now at her wits end.  I was half-tempted to let her continue her tantrum thinking “maybe it will get my name called faster.” Instead I gave the one nurse a pleading look of despair and mouthed, “How much longer?” as I couldn’t keep this up any longer.  There was pity in her eyes and she told me she’d check.  About five minutes later my name was called…

Of course this was only to go into the actual exam room.  Once in the exam room I still to wait about another 10 minutes before the doctor came in – who spent all of 2 minutes examining me to then tell me that I have BRONCHITIS!!!

Please don’t get me wrong.  I love my doctor’s office.  Both the practitioners and the receptionists have always been good to my family.  They have always worked with us to see my kids when they are sick and ensure my family’s health.  I have a great relationship with our usual physician (I saw a different practitioner today) who will call in scripts for me or my kids based on my nursing assessment.  Yet, in today’s healthcare scene where physician’s offices double and triple book appointments in order to make ends meet and try and make a profit, thanks in part to reimbursement guidelines, the ability for practitioners to remain on time with each of their appointments is near to impossible.  Factor in the health care complexities of today’s patients, many of which are elderly and have multiple co-morbities, and now an office visit is sure to take longer than the time allotted because a thorough practitioner needs the necessary time to listen, diagnose, and treat that patient. Subsequently, other patient’s end up waiting.  Somewhere in the midst of all of this though, there needs to be a happy medium because my time is valuable as well.  If my appointment is for 10:45 am I would expect to at least get in to see the doctor by 11 am – not 11:20am.  I shouldn’t have to block off an hour and a half of my time for a visit that should take no longer than 15 minutes.  I am not sure what the answer is, but I sure would welcome a change….

I divide up my days…

As a mom of three very active children I like to divide up my days in various time increments in an effort to maintain some level of what sanity I have left.  That is, when I wake up at that ungodly early hour of the morning – you know the one that begins before the sun is completely up and involves rousing less than happy kids up and out of bed in an effort to get them ready and off to school – I tell myself the following…

  1.  In 1 hour the eldest two will be off at school.
  2. In 4 1/2 – 5 hours the baby will go down for a nap leaving approximately 1 1/2 hours of “me” time until I have to wake her from that glorious nap to go pick up the middle one at school.
  3. Once they are all home, that leaves five hours until their bedtime and then about another couple hours until mine.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids dearly, however lets face it;  when you are for the most part are a stay-at-home mom, where the odds are stacked against you – 3 kiddos to your 1 self, you will implement whatever Jedi mind tricks necessary ultimately survive each day of parental bliss (insert sarcastic tone) that overflows with ridiculous homework, assignments, meltdowns, after school activities, cabin-fever antics and the fulfillment of their basic needs.  By my dividing out my day as I do, I feel a little less overwhelmed by all of the parental responsibilities required of me and more apt to feel as if I can conquer what each leg of the day has in store for me.   And if this fails to work there is always a bottle of wine to crack open….

Time out – Mommy’s sick

  
When you’re sick with any ailment, a headache, the common cold, the flu – etc… all you want to do is to curl up in your bed and rest – uninterrupted for an undisclosed amount of time up until you are feeling human again.  When you’re a mom and you’re sick, taking the time to take care of yourself is near to impossible.  It’s not as if you can, with young children – one of which is a toddler – take a sick day.  You can’t just not get up and let them fend for themselves – no matter how tempting it is.  You can’t just suddenly go lay down and take a nap and hope that the house remains intact and everyone is still alive and breathing when you return.  Nope you must don your warrior outfit (a.k.a your robe and fuzzy slippers), take whatever OTC medications you can find in your medicine chest, and trudge on through the head congestion, the unrelenting coughing fits, sinus pain, and whatever other ailments you are currently experiencing because, motherhood rests for no one – and I mean NO ONE.  And while you probably should make a doctor’s appointment, who wants to drag a rambunctious toddler with you when you can barely keep your head in the upright position.  Poor excuse for not putting yourself first, I know, but when you feel crappy, you don’t have the energy for that kind of motherhood-surveillance.
When you’re sick as a mom you’re hoping that somebody in your family (other than your children) – eh hem your husband or someone in your extended family might take pity on you and come to your rescue.  Not always the case.  Hubby has to work so he’s not home.  Of course, when he is home, he does not want to be within 5 feet of you for fear of getting what it is you have.  And God forbid he gets sick – for  as any woman knows – man sick is a whole other realm of torture.  You’re own mom is getting up there in age and while she and others do generously grab the kids from time to time, what you really want is a week of solitary recuperation time and let’s face it, that is neither a remote possibility nor  reality.  You’d have a better chance of winning the lottery.  So you are grateful for the few hours reprieve that do come, though you secretly and selfishly want more.

When you’re sick as a mom you’re fashion sense – as if it were there to begin with – takes a nosedive.  Your robe is your security blanket, covering up those yoga pants and that oversized sweatshirt.  Going out in public only requires a slight wardrobe adjustment – a jacket in place of your robe.  Your hair is either thrown up in a pony-tail or tucked under a hat.  Make-up – ha.  It’s not like when you are feeling great that you even apply some so why start now.  You’re sick for God’s sake – you might as well look the part and garner some pity points.

When you’re sick as a mom you just want to feel justified and validated for the continued efforts you put in while your ill.  That is, you would like a little acknowledgement that even when you’re under-the-weather your efforts are appreciated (maybe even more so since you’re doing it with a slight handicap).  There are no time outs, no breaks, no leave of absences when you’re sick.  And, your kids don’t fully understand that you really don’t feel physically capable of being there every waking second – even though you will be because you are a mom and that’s what you do.  You are the glue that keeps it all together and you are the oil that keeps your family machine running.  You are the mom who just wants and needs a little extra TLC.

 

Irony…

I work with sick people on a daily basis. I am routinely subjected to some pretty nasty and resilient germs as patients cough in my face, breathe all over me, and at times puke in my direction. Despite all of this, very rarely do I ever get sick.  However, my kids come home with the slightest sniffle, breathe in my general vicinity and I am laid up with some whopping respiratory infection that has me hacking my brains out. Go figure…

What every mother wishes for…

Aside from the obvious,  that of  happy, well-behaved, well-mannered, well-adjusted, socially-accepted, and successful (as defined by your own personal beliefs on what constitutes success) children I often find myself wishing for the following:

  1.  A chance to finish a cup of coffee uninterrupted and without having to reheat it up in the microwave at least three times…
  2. The opportunity to go to the bathroom in peace and quiet…
  3. The time to take a very long hot and uninterrupted shower…
  4. The luxury of actually sitting down to a hot meal with the rest of my family…
  5. A self-cleaning house…
  6. A maid (someone than me)…
  7. More hours in the day to be the mom my kids need me to be rather than the mom reality dictates me to be…
  8. Clothes that are less mommyish and more reflective of the woman I am underneath…
  9. A day at the spa to re-energize and regroup…
  10. A shopping spree to get those few things that we as moms don’t often buy for ourselves because we are putting our kids’ needs first…
  11. More patience…
  12. A vacation with my husband to remind myself of how it all began…

It is inevitable that…

It is inevitable that your child will become sicker, to the point that you need to make them a doctors appointment, only after the office has closed for the day, on the day you were off, with you scheduled to work the next day.

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