Today I wasn’t the nurse but rather the wife, who took the phone call from you saying that something was wrong and you were going to the emergency room.  Today I felt my heart stop, when you, usually so disinterested in your health took pause and then took action.  Was it fate that intervened on your way home from work and set in motion these chain of events?  Because if it had not been for fate, you might never have changed your homeward course and the ending of this story might have been different.

Today I wasn’t the nurse but he wife who watched her husband enter the emergency room, our daughter in tow, pale and diaphoretic.  I had to swallow hard but hide my fears as I helped you get checked in.  I then went to wrap up my own nursing shift with our daughter in my arms (since ironically I was working when this all occurred) and met back up with you over in the ER.  There I listened to them initiate the proper code for the symptoms you were experiencing; and as staff entered your room an overwhelming sense of helplessness set in.  I watched them draw blood, send you off for a test, and then do a very thorough physical exam on you – all part of the protocol but scary none-the-less.  In the midst of all of this your mom came and got our daughter so that I could focus my attention on you.  I used humor to mask the uncertainty and listened intently to what the nurse and physician were saying.  Today I was not the nurse with over 17 years experience, but rather the wife who wanted to hear the plan of care, the test results, and all pertinent information as if I had no medical knowledge of any of it at all.  Today I was your wife who, when you were presented with different treatment options, didn’t know what to tell you when you looked at me for answers.  Today I had no answers and wanted someone else to provide them for me.

Today I watched you be tolerant of a situation beyond your control, especially since I know how much you hate hospitals.  I tried to make some jokes to put you at ease, especially when they told you that they were going to admit you for observation – despite the fact that all test results were coming back negative (thank god).  I offered to get you anything you needed on multiple occasions.  Maybe at times I rambled when I tried to find something that would make this whole experience a little less lousy for you, but I just wanted to make you comfortable and help you any way I could.

Today I watched them admit you to a hospital room for the first time in your life.  You were less than thrilled but I knew you were in the hands of good nurses who were knowledgable about the protocols for your diagnosis.  As your wife I felt a little more relaxed and extremely grateful that whatever was going on had subsided and by all accounts you were now stable and would be fine.

Today as your wife I prayed that God would protect you, my husband, my best friend, and love of my life.  Today, God came through and he sent an angel to watch over you…..

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