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What motherhood has taught me….

A mom shares lessons learned as she juggles her family and career….

Month

July 2015

You mess with my kids, you mess with me….

If my kids are misbehaving or are in the wrong, you can bet I will be all over them and their behavior.  However, if my kids are minding their own business or interacting with their peers in a respectful way and some kid messes with them; you can bet I will be ready to intervene if the situation warrants.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe it’s important for my kids to learn how to handle confrontation in whatever form it presents itself.  This is part of life and growing up.  Yet, if another child is going to escalate that confrontation to a higher level then I will be compelled to step in.  And if the parent of that child has a problem with that – so be it.  Of course, if they were watching how their child was behaving to begin with, then maybe they would have stepped in long before the confrontation escalated.

I refuse to let my kids be bullied.  I will defend my kids when necessary and will offer up no apologies for that.

#motherhood

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I am a Mom – What’s your superpower?

Juggling three kids, a marriage, a career, a house, pets, a mortgage, car payments, financial obligations in general, and all that life has to throw at me; I sometimes feel as though I am a circus act that performs without a net.  It’s sometimes very difficult for me to not feel overwhelmed by the enormity of responsibility put upon me and expected of me, by not only myself, but by the members of my household who depend on me.

Moms are of their own special breed.  We are the glue that holds it all together.  We maintain order when there is chaos amongst the clan.  We are the organizers of activities and all that is necessary to keep the family unit running smoothly, the taxi service to school and social functions, the homework enforcers, the human ATMs for all that is needed and some of which is wanted,  the protectors who will stand up for and defend our brood, the ones who are expected to make it all better when the tears come, and the ones who will move heaven and earth to ensure that their children are happy and well-adjusted.

Moms are also the jugglers of many adult responsibilities.  Many of us work two jobs.  We have our full-time job as a mom and then our career, which comes with its own set of demands and obligations of our time.  Most of us are the ones who pay the bills, make/return necessary phone calls, make doctor appointments (and then take the kids to them), clean the house, do the laundry (and then fold it and put it away), go food shopping, cook all the meals, and even fix things that our husbands haven’t yet gotten to yet.  And we can’t forget our husbands – somewhere in the midst of everything else there needs to be the time to reconnect on various levels – especially at the end of a long day or week.

This is not a blog to in any way knock dads, especially for those single fathers out there who are playing both roles.  Dads make their own unique contributions.  However, if you are a mom and this blog hits home with you and you can relate – then you understand exactly what I am saying.

I am a Mom – What’s your superpower?

If I can parent my children why can’t you parent yours….

As the mother of three children ranging in age from 20 months to 9-years-old, I am extremely vigilant when it pertains to my children’s behavior, what they are doing, and who they are doing it with.  If we are out in public, for instance at the local park or town pool, I always have one eye on them and will be quick to step in should a situation arise with my children that requires my parental involvement.  For instance, just last week at our town pool, while I was over in the kiddie pool with my 20 month old, an older child (probably around 3) came over to her and proceeded to knock the toy she was holding out of her hand.  I watched her pick it up only to have him do it again.  That’s when I felt compelled to direct her away from this child as I firmly said to him, “Please do not knock toys out from her hands.”  Yet, why did I need to say anything at all?  Where was his mother or father and why weren’t they in tune to their son’s actions?  I asked the latter because I didn’t see anyone who looked particularly interested in what was transpiring.

I have noticed lately that while a small group of parents are maintaining vigilance to their children, not all parents seem to share this same sentiment when it comes to keeping an eye on their child’s/children’s behavior and gently intervening if so warranted.  The attitude of “kids will be kids” or they “are only playing” doesn’t hold much weight if one child is in tears as the result of another’s actions or words.  Social outings in public places offer outlets for children to play and adults to converse; however conversation should never compromise supervision and a general awareness of what your child is doing.

A Real Housewife speaks

Let’s stop for a moment and think of the practicality and reality of parading around all day in heels and a dress; where lunch dates consist of uninterrupted banter with girlfriends while the children are somewhere off with the nanny.  Please people, this is so far removed from the true reality us “average” housewives are living.  Just once I would love to see a television show that highlights the reality of this housewife and true working mom – you know, the mom that is up at 5 am so that she can get into the bathroom uninterrupted and have herself semi put together before flipping on bedroom lights and ordering children to get up and get ready for school.  The mom that battles with the moans and groans of children who are moving slower than slow while she struggles to finished getting dressed and look somewhat presentable – all the while she is simultaneously putting backpacks and lunches in the car and making breakfast.  Oh wait, and did I mention right before everyone is set to walk out of the door she wakes up her sleeping toddler, changes her, puts her in her car seat and off they all go – the two older children to morning care and she and her toddler off to her work.  That’s right – work, as in a full time job five days a week where she puts in close to 9 hours before picking up her toddler and then heading home to grab her two other children from aftercare.  Then of course there is the after school and work reality – that of cooking dinner while simultaneously doing homework amidst the wales and meltdowns of how the work is too hard; cleaning out and repacking backpacks, doing laundry and making lunches for the next day.  And of course don’t forget to add in returning phone calls to track down the plumber about the leaky sink, dispute a credit card charge, and make several overdue appointments – all the while the kids suddenly feel the need to seek your attention that very moment you dial your phone.  Where is the television show that highlights this mom?  Certainly shows like “The Real Housewives of….whatever city…. and even certain family sitcoms don’t even come close to portraying the reality of what the majority of us average moms face every day.  Oh and if your wondering where dad is, dad works a 10 hour graveyard shift five to six days a week so he’s sleeping while your conducting your circus act.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining…this is the role I chose – but rather I wish to highlight that the majority of what is portrayed on television is not the norm for the “average housewife” today. While our challenges are probably too ordinary to garner ratings they are the reality of our worlds. And while you can argue that various reality television shows are for the sole purpose of entertainment, and to divert us away from our own chaos, it would be refreshing to just once turn on the TV and see a show I can relate to.

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